Bathed In Your Radiance I Melt

ok so its been awhile since ive had my cd update and i would tell you when i got them but i forgot haha so heres the list:

1. Metro Station - Metro Station

2. From First to Last - Dear Diary My Teen Angst Has A Bodycount

3. Panic! At the Disco - A Fever You Can't Sweat Out

4. Tokio Hotel - Scream

5. Kill Hannah - Hope For the Hopeless

6 Mixed cd - Nikkster's Mix (gift from Onah)

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so there it is!

well im back online with a new look so thats cool ill be online more often so hit me up and we can chat and all that good stuff!

later

im tryin to post new pics of myself, after my haircut, but it wont let me!!!

ill keep on tryin but dunno if it will work.

*sigh* oh well this super ninja pirate spy vampire will never give up!!!

xxx$tr8x3dg3xxx

lets see about 4 weeks ago i bought, Discovering the Waterfront by Silverstein and I LOVE IT!!!

Today I bought We Are Pilots by Shiny Toy Guns, love it too!!!

thanks for readin! <3

Happy birthday to you,

Happy birthday to you,

Happy birthday dear Jade,

Happy birthday to you!!!!

WE LOVE YOU GUITAR GOD!

Wishing you the best on YOUR day and have a kick ass birthday! <3

Just like the title, I'm not sure wether to post any more of my poetry... so what do you think? Should I or not? Come on don't be shy... i know Annadee has something to say! lol

~Niffi Puget,Sheckler,Wentz,Angel etc. <--hehehe

Just as the title said, the greatest thing happened yesterday.... I GOT  MY FIRST, VERY OWN ELECTRIC GUITAR!!! It's a white Fender Squier Strat and I named it Morningstar or M Star for short. I know it's weird naming a guitar but..... lol Well here's a pic of what it looks like.

Here's my baby! lol Now for my dream guitar...

This is a Gibson Les Paul Studio

Well here's another journal for you. This time in our language arts class we have to write poems about emotions/ actions and I wrote these two poems, I had a third one but I had to turn it in today and I don't have it right now, but no worries I'll post it along with these as soon as it's given back to me. I hope you read them and comment them, critize them or whatever but I need feedback please. And please,this might sound stupid but don't steal them, cause this came from my real emotions and they are of some importance to me and it would really suck if someone were to take them. Thanks for reading! =)

Laughter by: Nikki T.

When I laugh

     at something pure and simple

          comical, stupity, childishness

              I wish I could hold on to that moment forever

                    The best I can do though is reminisce

                         think back and hold onto that memory.

here is the other poem:

All That's Inside Me by: Nikki T.

When I feel different kinds of emotions.

Like a special place, time or with a person.

Happiness, hatred, unsure

I wish I could explain how these emotions work.

But it's one of those things that you can't explain.

I write to express myself

when it's hard to talk about it in the form of spoken words.

Love, confusion, idleness

But I must find another way...

Will I ever find it?

  This is my real dream. I had it sometime this summer and as soon as I woke up I wrote it down. It didn't occur to me to put it down as a journal until a couple days ago, it's long but I hope you like it. Thanks! <3 P.S I love Sheckler by the way. haha! :)

There was my best friend Onah (real person) and me at the high school in our hometown. We were there for an Etnies skate demo. We were in the very front, so we got a sweet view of the freakin' awesome skaters. But we kind of got there a little late so we missed like 3 or 4 skaters. That was ok though because the next pro skater was this chick, Sarah Whitmore (real person). There was a big flight of steps with a rail right in the middle of it.

Sarah was at the top about to grind. Her grind was perfect, it was just her landing that was off. When she landed she kind of leaned forward, and the nose of her board went forward and she stepped off her board and kind of staggered a little for a couple of steps. Her board rolled by. She looked a little frustrated. As she walked away another skater started doing their thing. I told Onah I'll be right back and I walked up to Sarah and said she did an awesome run. She looked surprised that I knew who she was, because she was like, "OMG, you know who I am?!" I was a little surprised and amused I said, " Yeah, your Sarah Whitmore. You ride pro for Etnies (Duh!) and you’re on the Etniesgirl part of the Etnies website. Actually I wrote you a few questions on the Ask-A-Pro." Sarah smiled and said, "Cool, I got to check up on that." A guy walked up to us. I guess he was her manager or something. He said something like, "C'mon let's go Sarah." Sarah replied with a, "Aww c'mon! I'm starving!" I was still standing there, I felt a little awkward just standing there so I said, "Hey if you guys are hungry, my family is having a cookout today your welcome to come." Sarah was like, "No we couldn't do that! We would like be totally invading your house." I responded by saying, "No, it's cool."

I guess Sarah was so happy at the though of food because just as I said that she was al for the idea. So I said, "Ok, let me call my mom and tell her that you guys are coming over and I'll ask for a ride." Just as I said that Sarah said, "No, you don't have to call for a ride. You can catch a ride on the bus with us." I guess I look excited or something because she just smiled. Right as I was going to say "Ok" I just snapped that I left Onah where we were standing! So I asked Sarah if it was ok if Onah could come along, and Sarah said, "Oh yeah. Sure. Go ahead and get her. We'll be waiting at the bus." As I took off running to where we were standing I saw this guy named Andrus (he's a real person and an ass) a few feet from where I was standing, but he was lose enough to hear every word that I said. As fast as I could I told Onah what happened and after I was done explaining she looked pretty stoked! Andrus on the other hand was in total shock. I guess he had a crush on Sarah or something. As Onah and I walked by he was still in total shock! (haha!) We hurried to the bus. Man, was it huge! Right as we walked in Onah and I both said at the same time, "Wow..." We had never seen anything like it. We sat down on this huge, black leather couch.

I told the driver where my house was and we were on our way. When we got there, I told Onah and the other skaters that they could go inside and help themselves to the food. And for some reason Sarah and me went to my grandma's house for some reason ( I guess I thought we were going to eat at my grandma's as usual). When we got there we talked for a while, then she said, "I really messed up on her grind." I told her she did awesome. She responded with a, "I would have better, well no, I could have done better. It's just my manager watching my every move, it makes me nervous." I said, "its ok, everyone gets nervous.

She was about to say something but her Sidekick interrupted her. She said, "I'm sorry. Do you mind if I take this?" I told her, "No, go ahead." As she walked to the other side of the room she answered her Sidekick. I picked up a magazine and started flipping through it to find an article. On the other side of the room Sarah was saying, "Look calm down nobody stole the bus, it's outside right here.... Oh, sorry I forgot to tell you we're here at Nikki's place...She's this girl I met...Don't worry she's cool, it's not like she going to hold me hostage for money or something (Sarah rolls her eyes)...Hold on let me ask her..." Sarah walks over to me and asks me if a friend of her can come over. I tell her it's alright. Sarah gets back on the phone. "She said it was alright....Let me give the phone to her and she'll tell you where to go. Ok?" She hands the phone to me and says it's Ryan Sheckler!

I stare in shock and amazement at the Sidekick and I look at the caller ID. She's not lying! I'm speechless for about 8 seconds then my brain snaps. I calm myself and tell him how to get to my house. Sarah and I go outside and wait for Ryan. As we wait we talk some more, then we see him in the distance coming on his skateboard puling off kick flips, pop shove-its and manuals here and there. Sarah says, "Show off." I look at her and we both laugh. Sarah says, "Ryan's a good friend of mine. We are very close, almost like brother and sister, but sometimes he can be overprotective." I say, "Yeah, I know what you mean, but that's sweet how he cares so much."

When he got close we wave at him and he see's us. All of a sudden I get shy. In my head I say, "Of all times why do I have to get all shy and nervous! Why now!" As I try to hide my thoughts in my facial expressions I say to Ryan, "Hey what's up?" He looks at me and says, "Your Nikki right?" I say, "Yep, that's me" He answers my "What's up" with a,  "It's all good, but I'm pretty hungry" I almost forgot why all these pro skaters are here in the first place. I say "Oh! Well then let's go inside and get something to eat." As I lead the way inside Ryan and I start a conversation. When we get inside my place we see my whole family. Dad, mom, brothers, sister-in-law, aunts, uncles, cousins all talking, laughing and having a good time. I see Onah and the other skaters sitting all packed together at some tables put together. I show Sarah and Ryan where the plates, food and drinks are and tell them to help themselves to the food. When I'm done making my plate I see my cousin’s mom and ask her where my cousin is. She says that she's at her friend's house and didn't want to come just yet. I say "ok" and tell her it's nice seeing her here.

Sarah, Ryan and I head over to the tables where the other skaters and Onah were sitting at. The people there make room for us to sit down with them. We sit down. I sit next to Onah and to my surprise Ryan sits next to me. The chairs were close to each other and I was secretly happy about it. :)We all started talking, laughing at past experiences, telling stories, and asking each other questions. Ryan asks if I'm finish with my plate and I say "Yes", so he takes my plate and I say "thanks". I kind of blush slightly at his kindness. As Ryan walks away Onah whispers to me, "I see someone blushing..." I say, "Shut up." and give her a smile.

It's getting hot in the house because everyone is so close together. When Ryan comes back he asks me if I want to go outside. I say, "Ok, let's go out this way." As I get up Onah gives me a smirk, I kind of roll my eyes and give her a little smile. We walk outside and sit on the picnic table with our feet on the bench under a tree. There is a cement loading ramp with a platform in front of us. We talk for a while about our interests and suddenly he asks me, "That ramp looks perfect for trying out some flips! Would it be ok if I could try and land some tricks on that ramp? It looks so tempting." I laugh and he looks at me with a strange expression like, "did I say something funny?" I tell him, "You’re the second person this summer to ask me that. No problem, go ahead." I tell him to be careful for the uneven cement at the end of the ramp. I told him about my cousin almost flipping on that bit of cement when he landed.

I sit there on the picnic table and watch him skate for a while, watching him land tricks, amazed with his skill. Then he asks if I want to skate. I laugh and say, "Unless you want to see me flip ass soo sick, ok." We both laugh and he sits down next to me, and puts his board on the other side of him and asks, "So tell me, if you don't skate how do you know about Sarah, the other skaters, me and the skate demo?" I told him, "I heard about the demo from a friend and I asked who would be skating, and she said the Etnies pro skaters. So I called up Onah and we went to the demo, but we missed the first 2 skaters. I had no idea that you where here, until you called Sarah on her Sidekick. ( went on about how I found out about him and Sarah.) I don't know how to skate but, I have cousins that do. I want to learn how. But the thing is that I don't have a decent board to learn on." He looked at his board that had his latest graphic on it and said, "Today when I met you I didn't know you at all, then as I got to know you better, we became friends, I trust you and... give you my board."

I was in total shock. I couldn't believe what just happened. I was so happy and grateful that I said "thank you" at least 8 times, then before I knew think instinct took over... I gave him a BIG hug! He laughed and said "I should thank you, because that was the best hug I've had in a while." I guess I blushed because I said "Sorry it's just..." He said, "No, its ok, really it's ok."

We started to talk more and he asked me, "Do you like to travel?" I said, "Well I haven't really gone to many places. I went to Disneyland with my family and 3 of my cousins. I was about 4 or 5 and I don't really remember much. I would love to go there again. Another dream I have is to travel the world. Mostly Europe. My 2 friends and I made a pact to go on our own euro trip when we turn 20. I want to go to Italy the most. At school we had an Italian night as a fundraiser and the day before, the 6th-8th grade had to decorate the cafeteria. Our table was in charge of those boats that transport people on the river. Also, we were given this huge book on Italy. I was flipping through it and this one picture that was taken at night that just caught my eye. I think it was taken on the bridge. It overlooked the river and on both sides there were cobblestone roads. On each side if the road there was a row of lamps that shone green. The light reflected off the water and it looked soo beautiful, that I just have to go there on out trip!" Then he asked me a strange question, "Do you get homesick?" I said, "Umm...No, well it depends who I'm with and for how long. Why?" Then Ryan said the greatest, coolest, exciting thing anyone's ever said to me.

"Well from what I know about you and stuff. You seem like a cool person, and I want to help you learn how to skate. (I was in total shock, AGAIN. Ryan Sheckler teaching me how to skate! I could have died from happiness!) But, I'm leaving tomorrow night and clearly that's not enough to teach you much so...I wanted to ask you if you would like to come and stay with me and go on a few tours this year?" (I was just recovering from the last shock and happiness wave when another one hit me!) I was speechless, I couldn't talk! Before I knew it a tear came down my face. I guess Ryan saw it because he said, "Hey what's wrong? If you’re not ready to leave home it's ok, maybe some other time..." I found my voice and said, "No it's not that. Well a little, but it's just that...that's the best thing anyone's ever done for me for a long time!" Thank you soo much!" I hugged him again, this time bigger and longer. Then he said, "If you ever need anything, someone to talk to, a friend, call me and I'll always be there for you." Then this time he hugged me... Then I woke up.

Well this was my Craziest, Awesome, Coolest, Sweetest Dream EVER! I hope you liked it and please comment on it. Thanks! <3